New Season: What Fits?

By TeKeesha Fisher, Master's Level Counseling Intern

Spring hasn’t fully sprung here in the Midwest, but many of us have already been tempted to pull out that tote with last Spring’s clothes to see what still fits. You know the routine. You stand in front of a mirror trying on piece after piece, wondering “does this still work?”, or maybe you perform this act in front of another person. Your own thoughts or the other person’s words urge you with statements such as, “I hate this, but it works. A little tweak here and there is all it needs. Well, others like it on me. No one will notice this area. I can cover it.” In the end, we have a pile of things we really don’t want in our life anymore, but we’re too drained from the experience to bother dealing with it. We either hang it in the closet for keeps since going shopping seems just as difficult, and we don’t even know what we’re looking for, or we stuff it back in the tote to deal with another time.

The scenario above isn’t really about a wardrobe change. Sometimes, new seasons of life call for personal change. Old habits and ways of living with ourselves and others just don’t fit anymore. Maybe you’ve found yourself looking in the mirror saying, “I can’t keep allowing this friendship/relationship to drain me. I’m tired of pretending I’m happy. I’m exhausted, but I just can’t say no to helping. My anger is ruining my relationships. I’m so lonely in my depression. I need to find peace and stop worrying so much”. Take a deep, slow breath. Let this new season be a time for making lasting change. Clear the “closet” of unwanted behaviors and ways of thinking that no longer fit with who you envision yourself to be. Maybe you’ve allowed yourself to be mistreated, taken advantage of, marginalized, or dishonored by others’ words and actions. Perhaps you are tired of feeling stuck in poor coping habits.  

Are you ready for change? Consider where you are in the following stages of change model by James Prochaska & Carlo DiClemente: 

1. Precontemplation- Before reading this post, you weren’t really considering a change. 

2. Contemplation- After reading this post, you think you might want to make some changes. 

3. Preparation- You’ve decided you want to change and have some specific goals in mind. 

4. Action- You begin taking action steps towards reaching your goals. 

5. Maintenance- Your goals have been met, and you have a plan to prevent backsliding. 

Many of us have cycled back and forth through these stages throughout our lives. Some of us haven’t made it past the contemplation stage. That’s ok. Change is hard. If you find yourself needing help with the change process, reach out to our intake administrator, Gia, at 815-707-4806. We care and can help you on your journey to lasting change towards a better, healthier, and more confident place in life. Please don’t delay. Let’s empty the closet this season of those unwanted ways of living that just don’t work anymore. 

For more information on the stages of change model, check out this article:

Stages of Change Theory - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf

Article reference:

Raihan , N., & Cogburn, M. (2023, March 6). Stages of change theory. StatPearls [Internet]. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556005/